Friday, June 3, 2011

Revision Piece

Before:
Communities Serve Our Needs

In modern day society communities exist in several different forms. These range from neighborhood communities to online communities which both allow people to develop fortifying relationships. Communities have the ability to offer a variety of benefits to a wide range of people. Currently, communities serve us through personal relationships, social networks, and allow us to come closer together. The primary purpose of a community is to provide support and to serve our needs. 
Communities help us when we are seeking aid. In hard times, people in the communities come together to support each other. Shari Caudron in her essay “Befriending Barbie” interviewed a Barbie doll collector Judy Stegner. Stegner had one son; in September 1999 he was killed in a shooting. Stegner says her Barbie friends, all fellow Barbie doll collectors, were very helpful and caring. They tried everything they could to make sure that Stegner didn’t feel like she was alone. Stegner says, “You wouldn’t believe what they did. They called or wrote to me every day. They sent me money. They sent care packages…”(Caudron 173). This type of support is not uncommon. People in communities serve as an outlet for comfort and encouragement. In most communities, like Judy’s, people will have at least one person they can turn to during their times in need.
Communities also exist to provide support to one another, even in ways that may seem insignificant. During an interview with Tatyana Musnitskaya, I was exposed to yet another example of a community providing support. However, this circumstance took place in a face-to-face community as opposed to online. When describing her experience with communities Musnitskaya said, “In my childhood and adolescence communities were always eager to help out.” Musnitskaya told me about a time when she was a teenager. One time, she and her friends decided that they wanted to go to a church nearby. That church was having a special guest speaker who they all wanted to hear. Unfortunately, Musnitskaya didn’t finish digging up the potatoes so she told her friends that she couldn’t come with them. They said, “No problem, we will work together to dig up all the potatoes and then you can come with us” (Musnitskaya). In the end, the group of teenagers helped Musnitskaya, and she was able to go to that youth service because the community served her need. Unlike Judy Stegner, Musnitskaya was not going through a rough time or in need of comfort and care. Nonetheless, her close community came and worked together to assist her in her need.
                                                               Works Cited
Brooks, David. "Our Sprawling, Supersize Utopia." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G.
Latterell.Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2010. Print.
Caudron, Shari. "Befriending Barbie." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G. Latterell. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin, 2010. Print.
Musnitskaya, Tatyana. Personal Interview. 30Apr. 2011.
Udovitch, Mim. "A Secret Society of the Starving." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G.
Latterell.Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2010. Print.
After:
Communities Serve Our Needs
In modern day society communities exist in several different forms. These range from neighborhood communities to online communities which both allow people to develop fortifying relationships. The great thing about communities is that they have the ability to offer a variety of benefits to a wide range of people. Currently, communities serve us through personal relationships, social networks, and allow us to come closer together. The primary purpose of a community is to provide support and to serve our needs.
Communities help us when we are seeking aid. In hard times, people in the communities come together to support each other. Shari Caudron in her essay “Befriending Barbie” interviewed a Barbie doll collector Judy Stegner. Stegner had one son; in September 1999 he was killed in a shooting. Stegner says her Barbie friends, all fellow Barbie doll collectors, were very helpful and caring. They tried everything they could to make sure that Stegner didn’t feel like she was alone. Stegner says, “You wouldn’t believe what they did. They called or wrote to me every day. They sent me money. They sent care packages…”(Caudron 173). This type of support is not uncommon. People want to help their community peers because when they are in trouble or they have problems, they know that their communities’ buddies will come to support them. People in communities serve as an outlet for comfort and encouragement. In most communities, like Judy’s, people will have at least one person they can turn to during their times in need.
Communities also exist to provide support to the members, even in ways that may seem insignificant. During an interview with Tatyana Musnitskaya I was exposed to yet another example of a community providing support. However, this circumstance took place in a face-to-face community as opposed to online. When describing her experience with communities Musnitskaya said, “In my childhood and adolescence communities were always eager to help out.” Musnitskaya told me about a time when she was a teenager. One time, she and her friends decided that they wanted to go to a church nearby. That church was having a special guest speaker who they all wanted to hear. Unfortunately, Musnitskaya didn’t finish digging up the potatoes so she told her friends that she couldn’t come with them. They said, “No problem Tanya, we will work together to dig up all the potatoes and then you can come with us” (Musnitskaya). In the end, the group of teenagers helped Musnitskaya, and she was able to go to that youth service because the community served her need. Unlike Judy Stegner, Musnitskaya was not going through a rough time or in need of comfort and care. Nonetheless, her close community came and worked together to assist her in her need. As we can see, people are willing to help because they know they are part of a community. Being part of a community means being able to help others, even if it is unprofitable.   

Works Cited
Brooks, David. "Our Sprawling, Supersize Utopia." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G.
Latterell.Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2010. Print.
Caudron, Shari. "Befriending Barbie." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G. Latterell. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin, 2010. Print.
Musnitskaya, Tatyana. Personal Interview. 30Apr. 2011.
Udovitch, Mim. "A Secret Society of the Starving." Remix. 'Comp'. Catherine G.
Latterell.Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2010. Print.

No comments:

Post a Comment